Saturday in the Pit
by Bronwyn Celtia
Summary: Multiple characters, mostly RAH style. Fluff. It's a quiet Saturday in the Pit. What do bored Joes and Green Shirts do? What about bored Ninja? Yes, I included Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and Jinx, by name, for the sake of some of you here. You know who you are. I made the attempt; don't flame me if I fall short, please. Some swearing, sexual innuendo... rated M for safety


6

**Saturday at the Pit**

It was a rare Saturday at the Pit, the headquarters of the military's top anti-terrorist unit. It wasn't too hot or too cold out on the surrounding desert; COBRA had been quiet for the last few days; and the Big Wigs in DC weren't trying to save taxpayer's money by cutting the Joe's spending, instead of their own much-larger collective perk packages.

But when highly trained, very diverse individuals aren't busy, things can get…chaotic. After Storm Shadow almost caught a dart by interrupting a dart game between Alpine and Frostbite at the wrong time, and another dart DID take General Hawk's hat clean off his head, the General went from C.O. to angry dad, and ordered everyone outside.

"Go play football! Duke, Flint: you're the captains. Beach Head, you're the ref," Hawk instructed. "Lady Jaye, you're on Duke's team. Scarlett, you're on Flint's. And make sure Falcon and Jinx are on different sides, as well! Go! Outside!"

"I'll take Falcon and Freestyle, if you take Jinx," Duke told Flint.

"I take Jinx, I also get Roadblock," Flint stated.

"Then I get Heavy Duty!"

They were still choosing teams as they headed out onto the field. There was almost a fight when it came to Snake Eyes, until Scarlett pointed out the only Ninja to have followed Hawk's orders about the football game was Jinx. Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and the rest of the team's ninjas-in-training had vanished; probably to the Pit's personal little dojo for training.

"Ah can't be tha only damn ref." Beach Head growled. "Not with Joes and Green Shirts on both teams, and lord alone knowin' how many rules getting' broke!"

"Now Beach, would we break rules in a friendly game of football?" Shipwreck asked jovially.

"Damn straight some o' ya pogues would! Leatherneck! Ya are now a ref!" Beach Head pointed at the Marine. Then he spun and pointed at Wet Suit. "You too, Suit!"

It started off well enough. Until Wet Suit made a call against Gung Ho that Leatherneck didn't agree with. Then Beach Head ended up kicking Clutch completely out of the game for 'unnecessary roughness': the mechanic kept tackling female players, even if they didn't have the ball. But it nearly all dissolved into a riot when Falcon tackled Mutt, one of his own teammates, to keep Mutt from tackling Jinx. Jinx sprinted down the field to score for Flint's team.

"Falcon! What the hell are you doing?" Duke demanded. "Mutt's on our side!"

"But Jinx is my gal," Falcon shrugged.

"And you people think I'm over-protective of Lady Jaye?" Flint started laughing. "No offence to Mutt, but I honestly don't think he was going to get anywhere near Jinx!"

"He might have, Flint, since I had to keep dodging Junkyard at the same time," Jinx pointed out.

The graying skies choose that moment to open up, lashing the field and the players with a torrential downpour that had everyone not on actual duty hurrying back into the subterranean complex.

Ace, of course, claimed a corner table in the rec hall as soon as he'd gotten into dry clothes, and started up a poker game. Only, after about an hour, that was getting stale for most of the others who were playing…and losing.

"I fold," Shipwreck tossed his cards down with a frown, and stretched. "You want my seat, Dusty? I need to keep _some_ of my paycheck until closer to next pay day."

"Same here," Cover Girl also tossed her cards in. "Besides which, this is getting boring. Playing against Ace gets too predictable…"

"Yeah, we usually lose," Barbecue joked.

"I know how to alleviate your boredom, Cover Girl," Clutch leered. Wrong thing to do, since she was sitting right next to him. Cover Girl smacked him hard up the side of the head as she got to her feet. "Ouch!"

"How well she knows you, Clutch!" Shipwreck smirked.

"Like you weren't thinking the same thing?" Clutch accused.

"But I didn't say it, now did I?" Shipwreck challenged. "Especially not with her right next to me."

"You'd better not!" Cover Girl lifted a hand in his direction.

"Alright, alright! No need to get violent!" Shipwreck protested. "_I_ didn't say anything about horizontal rumbas. I didn't even hint at them! That was all Clutch!"

"Why don't we just watch a movie?" Lady Jaye suggested, looking up from her magazine.

"How do we decide which one?" Scarlett asked. "The last time we cut cards, and ended up with a Green Shirt's idea of a joke and 'Freaky Friday'."

"We all write suggestions, put-em in a box, draw a few out, and start voting," Duke suggested.

"That could take all night," Flint snorted.

"You got a better idea?"

"No, not really."

There was a scramble for paper and anything that could be used to write with. Beach Head found an empty ammo case for the slips to be put into.

"So, who gets to do the drawing?" Dusty asked, dropping his folded suggestion in. Flint and Duke looked at each other, then noticed Snake Eyes had come in when no one noticed.

"Snake Eyes," they both said at the same time. The black-clad Ninja inclined his head slightly, and moved forward. Once everyone had their suggestions in, Snake Eyes reached into the box without looking, pulled a slip of paper out, and handed it to Duke.

"Hey Lifeline, write these on the chalkboard, will you?" Duke requested. " This one is 'The French Lieutenant's Woman'."

"You gotta be kidding," Gung Ho shook his head.

"If you don't like it, don't vote for it," Lady Jaye glared at him briefly. Snake Eyes handed the second slip to Flint.

"And the second contender is… '9 to 5'," Flint read it aloud.

"That ain't too bad. That blonde's got some great…"Shipwreck began. Cover Girl hit him in the gut. "Hey! Lines! I was sayin' she's got some great lines!"

"Sure you were!" Clutch laughed. "Since when do you pay attention to dialogue when the actress is stacked?" He tried to duck, but couldn't avoid both Cover Girl and Scarlett swinging on him. "Gees…"

"At least, that one's a real comedy, unlike the jokers around here," Duke commented. "Next one, Snakes?" He didn't have to unfold this one. "And we have 'The Dirty Dozen'…"

"For the 100th time," Scarlett rolled her eyes. "Beach Head, you need to come up with a different suggestion. Really, you do."

"It's a damn fine movie!" Beach Head protested. Snake Eyes shook his head slightly, reached into the box again, and handed the next suggestion to Flint.

"Two guesses who submitted this one," Flint snorted. "'The Longest Mile'." He looked at Duke, who just grinned.

"How many are we putting up here?" Lifeline asked. "We have four now…"

"With a group this size, we'd better start with ten," Doc advised.

"Ten it is. Number five, Snake Eyes?" Duke held out his hand. "And next up for consideration…. NO Shipwreck! We are NOT watching 'Debbie Does Dallas'!" He tore the paper into pieces.

"I did _not_ suggested that!" Shipwreck protested, as Snake Eyes handed Duke a new draw.

" 'Animal House'," Duke read.

"Now, _that_, I _did_ suggest," Shipwreck grinned.

_**It's better than the last one.**_ Snake Eyes signed.

"Yeah, but not by much," Duke sighed.

_**It can be watched in mixed company.**_

"That's true," Flint agreed. "Next?" Snake Eyes handed him another folded paper. "Choice number six is… 'MASH'."

"Choice number seven… 'Raging Bull'," Duke continued.

"Oh goody," Cover Girl said dryly. "I really want to watch some hot head beat up on people…not!"

The next two suggestions were more war movies: 'Flying Tigers' and 'The Longest Day'.

"Don't we get enough military action on our own?" Lady Jaye asked. "Gees, some of you guys need to get a life!"

"Last option…" Flint opened the paper, stared at it, and shook his head. "for your consideration, people, 'Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory'."

"Now who the hell would suggest that kiddie movie?" Ace demanded, looking at the Green Shirts accusingly.

"Doesn't matter, it was pulled, it isn't objectionable content, so it goes on the board," Duke stated. "The voting will now start."

There wasn't any clear winner in the first round of voting, although 'Raging Bull' and 'The French Lieutenant's Woman' both got scratched for having only one vote apiece. Most of the war movies tanked in the second and third rounds.

An hour later, Joes and Green Shirts gathered around the big screen with drinks and snacks of choice, and settled down to watch 'Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory'. Bazooka sat cross-legged on the floor, right up in front, with a big bowl of popcorn.

"Did you actually suggest this, Bazooka?" Alpine demanded lowly.

"No," Bazooka shook her head.

"Then who did?"

"Don't know."

In the back of the room, Snake Eyes sat with his arms folded across his chest. Storm Shadow and Jinx entered, finally done with their work-outs. Storm Shadow took one look at the screen, and made a bee line to his sword brother's side.

"How did you pull this one off?" he asked softly. Snake Eyes just turned his head to look at him. "I know you. Making the Joes and the Green Shirts watch a musical would be the ultimate prank."

_**I rigged it. How do you think I did it? Keep your mouth **__**shut**__**.**_ Even using sign, Snake Eyes managed to emphasis the last word.

"I won't tell…as long as we get a classic Three Stooges movie next time," Storm Shadow said. He didn't wait for Snake Eyes to reply. He grabbed an unopened soda and a bag of chips from the refreshment table, and found a place where he couldn't see the screen, but he _could_ see those watching.

After all, a room full of fighting men and women singing 'The Oompa-Loompa Song' had it's own amusement factor.


End file.
